Bird on a wire (kittyontheprowl) wrote in fallen_souls,
Bird on a wire
kittyontheprowl
fallen_souls

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new here. hurting kittykat

hi..i'm new. i'm in a few communities for cutting. i thought i'd join this one as well. sometimes i think the more i join the more i'll feel better and less alone and crazy.

me: well, you put me next to another girl and a man will not choose me. i'm no beauty and i'm depressed most of the time with scars all over my body to prove it. I have people tell me that they will never leave me or never jsut stop being my friend...and then they leave without saying a word. i'm hurt beyond words about this. fuck...why do i have to be who i am. i wish i were someone that at least one person wanted to stick by. but, no, no one does. everyone just leaves and finds someone easier and better to be with frienship wise or romantic wise. i'm such a fuck. i deserve all of the deep scars i've given myself, that's for sure. i'm already ugly, why not add. no one keeps a picture of me close to their heart. They probably all just throw it away in the near by dumpster as they are drinking down their coke with their beautiful friends. i'm lonely tonight, and when i'm lonely and realize how unloved I am by so many, i want to cut. i'd like to just take that sharp razor and glide it across my stomach nice and deep. teach myself not to let anyone say those words to me. I always hear,"oh no, I'd never just leave you. You're special." bla bla bla...and then what happens..they leave me. i'm all alone. i'm not worth anything to anyone, including myself. I probably hate me the most out of anyone actually. Someone just slap me.

kitty
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